Infidelity and Affair Recovery Counseling

This work is hard, and it's worth doing carefully

Infidelity carries a lot of stigma, and it's easy to feel like the whole story is "someone did something wrong." I take the betrayal seriously, and I also know the full picture is usually more complicated. That doesn't excuse the hurt. It means there's often a stuckness in the relationship that was waiting for attention long before the affair.

In sessions, I'm warm but direct, clear yet firm. Both of you will be heard, and neither of you will be treated as the villain or the victim. We welcome all emotions here, including the ugly ones.

Who this is for

Affair recovery counseling is for:

• Partners who discovered an affair, and are dealing with pain, mistrust, and questions that won't stop

• Partners who had an affair, and want to take responsibility and understand what happened

• Couples dealing with emotional affairs, online betrayal, or dishonesty that has damaged trust, even if it wasn't physical

• Individuals who want support working through this on their own, including if your partner isn't ready for therapy yet

How I work with affair recovery

Every couple's path is different, but the work generally moves through three stages.

1. Stabilize. When you're in the aftermath, your nervous system is running hot. We start by helping you both feel steadier, so you can talk without every conversation becoming a fight. This is where my somatic work comes in: we notice what's happening in your body as the emotions rise, and build ways to regulate.

2. Understand. Once there's more steadiness, we look at what led here. What was happening in the relationship, in each of you, and in the patterns between you? This isn't about assigning blame. It's about understanding, so you can make real choices.

3. Decide and rebuild. From that understanding, you decide what you want. For couples who choose to stay, we work on rebuilding trust: transparency, repair, and learning to communicate in ways you can both hear. For couples who aren't sure, we make space for that too. And if you decide to part ways, I can help you do that with care.

My approach draws on attachment theory, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, and the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, along with my somatic training. I'm also willing and encouraged to talk about sex and intimacy, because it's often part of the picture.

What rebuilding trust really looks like

I want to be honest with you: therapy can't erase what happened, and trust doesn't come back on a timeline. What it can do is give you both a structure to work through the pain, a way to communicate that doesn't escalate, and a clearer sense of what you each want.

Rebuilding trust usually means the person who broke it taking real responsibility without defensiveness, and the person who was hurt having room to feel what they feel without being rushed to forgive. Over time, many couples find they understand each other better than they ever did.